


Vacation

by CheezPleez



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Avengers Family, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Creepy Brock Rumlow, Domestic Avengers, Found Family, Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Not Canon Compliant, Protective Clint Barton, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve is a giant kid, Team as Family, rumlow is garbage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24734995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheezPleez/pseuds/CheezPleez
Summary: After a year with the Avengers Clint notices that Steve doesn't seem to be doing as well as he claims. He seems withdrawn and is clearly not eating and sleeping as much as he should be. Realizing that Steve has nothing to take him away from work S.H.I.E.L.D or otherwise he decides its nest to take him home to his family for some time away. Along the way he learns more about Steve that he ever thought he would and realizes they have been failing him at every possible turn when it comes to adjusting him to his new life out of the ice.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 38
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

"Lar, I think I should bring him here. The closer it gets to the fourth of July the worse he gets. No, I don't think he's sleeping. He's for sure not eating. I don't know what he did last year but I don't think it was healthy. I'm certain it's not good for him I mean Tony even leaves the city. I know it's a huge step. Well I mean Nat knows and she has kept it secret for years. Maybe it's time to let the team see this side of me. I know I will talk with Nat and see what she says. Love you Lar."

Clint hung up the phone. Steve needed a way out right now. No one really knew what he did last year. All Jarvis knew was that he was in his room, curtains drawn and lights out. Tony was in Malibu with Pepper and Bruce dropped off the planet like he always does when he wants to get away. He found Nat just back from her mission sitting in the common room. 

"Just the lady I was lookin' for. I um… I think we need to tell the team." She turned to look at him. He now noted the bruises, bloodshot eyes and stains on her uniform. "Please tell me that's not your blood." She shook her head. "Steve's" 

"Shit. He was in No shape to go on that job." She closed her eyes "No, he wasn't but strike said he had to. Not sure what's eatin’ at him but it damn near got him killed well, that and Rumlow." Clint scowled at the mention of the name. "Who ever let that garbage example of a human being get as far as he did has some serious issues." Nat nodded "Nick thinks someone owed him a favor and that was the easiest pay up. So what's got you wanting to make the big announcement now?"

He gestured broadly "this. You and I have a safe place to shut all this out. Tony has Malibu, Bruce has mission work in third world countries. Steve...has nothing. It's breaking him Nat. He's not sleeping, he's barely eating. He is withdrawn and frankly he is scaring me. I know he goes to a counselor but clearly it's not working. If we don't give him a safe out now he won't last the year."

She nodded "a bit of a dramatic assessment but I see your point."  
"I don't think it's dramatic. He is floundering Nat. I just want him to be ok. How did you get his blood on you?"   
"Had to get shrapnel out of his back. He got hit and it healed before we could get out. I sent him to bed. He was miserable." Clint got up "yup I'm taking him home. Laura will understand."

He gave it a few hours before he was dropping in on Steve to ask. He knew it was late at night but he also knew Cap was up a lot at night. He knocked on the door and waited. There was no answer so he knocked a little harder. "Hey Steve, it's Clint. Ya there man?" It was still silent. "Jarvis welfare check please."  
"Of course agent Barton."

"I am granting you access to the Captain's room. It would appear he is in distress. Please inform me if medical needs to be alerted." He shook his head "sure thing Jarvis." He walked in carefully, unsure of just what he was walking into. He saw Steve in the armchair when he walked in. He knew it was his go to spot when he felt bad. It was his post mission tell. Nat pointed it out to him a few weeks after New York.

"Hey big guy...you ok? I don't mean to barge in ….kinda worried about ya." He was now kneeling beside the chair. He could see Steve was taking shallow ragged breaths and his skin was cold and clammy. "Steve?" He could see his eyes flutter open and then close again. He was about to call Jarvis when Steve let out a pained gasp. 

"Jarvis hit the lights please." He took a good look at Steve and could see the dark bruises on his chest. "Clint? When…….. did you get….. here?" He shook his head "got a hunch to check in on you. A little widow told me. What happened on that detail? I thought it was supposed to be easy." Steve coughed and blood dribbled down his chin. "Was a set up. Team tripped a bomb….took the brunt of it. Team got out ok."

Clint frowned "I'm sure they did. Thought Nat scoped that place out before you moved in." He gave a small nod. "Yea…..she did." His eyes fluttered again and his arm went slack. "Come on Cap, stay with me. You like fishing?" He didn't open his eyes but he did answer "ne…..never…..been." he let out a nervous chuckle. "Jarvis, I need medical…..internal bleeding possible punctured lung." At that moment Steve took on a grey pallor and he barely had a chance to get him turned so he could vomit onto the floor. "Maaaaaybe a concussion?" 

He held Steve's hand. "Stay with me big guy. I know things have been rough. I'm taking you away. You need a break. Nice quiet place, no one to bother you. How's that sound?" Steve didn't answer but he could see his chest heaving so he knew he was breathing. 

Steve woke up and he could hear the heart monitor beeping gently. When he opened his eyes Clint, Bruce, and Natasha were talking in the doorway. Nat looked up and walked over to him. "Hey welcome back." Clint patted his shoulder "Hey big guy you scared the shit outta me." He could see bandages on his chest. "What happened?"

"You still had shrapnel in you moving around. You're lucky Clint checked on you." He closed his eyes and laid his head back. "Thank you. I didn't know." Natasha leaned in and gave him a kiss. "I have a job to get to. Nick's sending me out for a few weeks. Take care of yourself. Clint you're in charge of watching him, don't disappoint me." She gave Clint a peck on the cheek and left.

"So um….holiday is coming up." Steve stiffened. "You don't need to worry about that." Clint shook his head and let out a breath. "I told ya I was gonna take ya fishing. There's a lake at my place. It's nice and quiet. No one out there but us." He smiled "I've never fished before but why not. I'm due some time off." Clint relaxed a bit "cool, cool, good plan but um there's um...something or rather someone you should know about."

"Please tell me this isn't a S.H.I.E.L.D. thing." He laughed "no no it's just…. I live with someone." He reached into his shirt and pulled out a chain with two rings on it. "I'm married." Steve nodded "I knew there was something more with you and Natasha." Clint began to laugh hysterically. "No, not Nat. She's like a sister to me." He pulled out his wallet and handed Steve a picture. "This is Laura, Cooper, and Lila." He looked at the family portrait and then back at Clint. 

"You're not shittin me are ya?" He smiled "no. Nick helped me make sure no one, not even S.H.I.E.L.D. knows about them. It's me and Nat's escape. Lila is 8 and Coop is 6." He held the picture a moment longer "do they know what you do?" He nodded "yea more or less. They don't know the dirty details but they know I work with the Avengers." Steve sat up a bit more. "You would let me into your home?" 

"Of course Steve. You need to get out of this city so two days from now we are gonna go off the radar a bit." Steve smiled "I can't begin to thank you." He could see for the first time in weeks an easiness in Steve that was sorely needed. "Don't mention it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning**  
> Homophobic language

Clint paced around the apartment at the tower packing his things when Laura called him. "Hi honey. So I was heading to the store and I wanted to make sure it was ok to get some birthday party supplies." He paused "I mean...i guess but um...why?" He listened to Laura's stunned silence "Honey? What's wrong?"   
"Clint…...Steve's birthday." He froze. "Wait...he was really born on the 4th? I thought that was a propaganda gimmick." She huffed and he couldn't help but smile. "No hon. Nat confirmed it for me. Any idea about a cake?" Clint thought for a moment. "Can't go wrong with Chocolate. He also loves ice cream, really any sweet. He thinks he can hide it but any time he has a bad day at least 1 tub of ice cream is missing from the freezer." She chuckled "ok I'm gonna be gone a while Nat suggested a trip to the grocery warehouse since we need to feed a super soldier." He paused "Steve won't eat super soldier portions."  
"He will if I tell him to. Nat sent the file. I have all I need for the care and feeding of one Steve Rogers. Before you leave New York please do me a favor, there's an art shop in the Bronx, Nat already ordered the items you just need to pick them up, they are wrapped and ready. Don't let on that you went there, it will give it away. I have to go. See you in a few days sweetie." He sighed and raked his hand through his hair. "You love taking in strays don't you Lar" he muttered.

Jarvis gave him instruction to the shop but he had no clue how to get there. He would have to ask for help. "Jarvis, who in the tower would know where I'm going, that is not Steve?" There was a pause as he waited "Master is heading that way to get flowers for Ms. Potts, you have time to ask. I will tell him to wait for you." He groaned but it was his only choice. At least when Tony did something for Pepper he did it himself.

He met Tony in the garage like Jarvis said. "What's up Katniss? Jarvis said you needed a lift." He grabbed at the back of his neck "yeaa I gotta go to some store in the Bronx to pick something up for Nat and Jarvis said you were heading there too." He nodded "yea sure sure. What store has she got you going to? The surplus store or the fancy shoe store?" He laughed "no, Regatti's arts." Tony stopped "really? That's some pretty high end art supplies. She didn't strike me as the artsy type."

"Well um..it's not for her...it's a surprise...for Steve….for his birthday." Tony had just begun to pull out of the parking spot when he stopped. "Shiiiiiiit Spangles birthday really is the 4th? I could have swore dad made that up. Damn I already planned Malibu with Pep. I'm sure we can move it back a bit."

"No no no. No it's fine…..he's coming home with me. He needs some time away from hustle bustle and the city." Tony grinned "so a bachelors birthday weekend huh? Where ya going?" He took a deep breath " home…..to my wife and kids." Tony slammed on the breaks again. "Your what now?" 

"My family, wife, kids, farm the whole nine." Tony began to laugh. "Damn you had me goin' there for a minute. That's a good one. Nice cover man." Clint pulled out his wallet "not a joke. Here, this is Laura,that's Lila and Cooper." Tony gawked at the picture in his hands. "Wow" he breathed. "That's….oh my god….. why didn't you tell me. I could have gotten you a comfy job with SI. No S.H.I.E.L.D. missions to risk your life. Nice pay too." He shook his head and smiled "thanks, but I like what I do. Laura and the kids know what I do and they understand." Tony nodded and continued out of the garage.

The art store was old in appearance. He walked in and was greeted by an old man. "Hi I'm here to pick up an order. It was placed by Natasha." The man smiled "ah the birthday order for Steven. Georgina was so happy to know someone was doing something for his birthday. She picked out the best for him. He's in here every monday morning and he only buys the basics. Poor boy. He's so talented. He has been a pleasure in our human forms class. An excellent mentor and an excellent model." Clint smirked "no nudes I'm sure." The man winked "I never sketch and tell." A few minutes later he handed Clint a box wrapped in green paper with ribbons wrapped around it. "You take care of Steven. It's nice to know he found himself a nice fella." Clint froze "oh...I..um...I'm a work friend and married...not...not his fella." The man frowned a moment "that's a shame although he does have a fondness for brunettes. Well it's closing time so, take care. I hope Steven loves his gift." He waved and made his way out meeting Tony at the car he texted Nat.

"Random but any info on Cap's love life?" He received a reply instantly "we haven't gotten that close yet but I've heard….rumors. Rollins swears he saw him at a bookstore that caters mostly to the gay community. Who knows maybe he has. Not my place to pry." Clint frowned but was pulled from his thoughts by Tony. "So what's in the box?" He shrugged "no clue. Nat picked it for Laura. So um… since you have some pretty intimate knowledge about Steve did he leave anyone behind?" 

"Well dad always said he left aunt Peg behind. Worlds greatest romance and all that but to hear aunt Peg tell it she says someone else left him behind. Broke his heart so bad he plunged into the ocean." Clint nodded "ok …..but who?" He shook his head "she swore secrecy. Said it would dishonor the trust placed on her. I kinda think it was Barnes. He kinda surprised me but he's really comfortable with Thor. Wonder if something is going on there." Clint snorted a little. "I think he's just responding to Thor's over affection." Tony shrugged "look Legolas I have found Cap and Thor in some rather delicate ways over the last year. They are at the least fuck buddies." 

He rolled his eyes. "I feel like Nat would have noticed by now." Tony hummed "That's another angle. Caught them in some rather close quarters as well. Perhaps our dear Captain plays for both sides." It didn't matter to Clint but he wondered how much he shared with the people in his art class. Were they really perceptive or was he just able to open up to them better than his team. Perhaps he would learn.

*************************************************************************************************************

Steve dropped off the mission report to Fury and let him know he was taking some personal time. He went to his locker to grab his sketchbook only to find the locker open and the book gone. He panicked as he thought of the book. There were pictures in there that were never meant to be seen by others. There was a particularly intimate sketch Natasha had allowed him to do after a particularly brutal mission and there were some from his art class and some were from memory. He scrubbed his hands over his face and took a deep breath. Someone had broken into his locker. Someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. had broken into his locker. Someone he trusted. 

He grabbed his duffle and headed towards Maria’s office. He wasn’t sure Fury would understand the importance of the book. As he passed the break room he froze absolutely horrified. There at the table sat Rumlow and Rollins along with a dozen or so others skimming through his book hooting and hollering at the images in it. That book had images in it dating back to 1938. Intimate settings from Brooklyn Heights. Private moments that couldn’t be recorded any other way. They were all ogling over the image of Natasha. She had been taking care of a wound in her thigh when Steve walked in. she was just in her underwear but it was the perfect image of her. He promised her it was between the two of them and now this had happened. Just then Rumlow hopped up. “I gotta xerox this shit or no ones gonna believe it. Be nice when I need some to yank off to.” He froze when he saw Steve in the doorway and he grinned. 

“Well boys, I guess our little peep show is all over. Everyone thank the good Captain for his artistic capabilities. Who would have known America’s greatest hero was also a fuckin fairy.” He held the book open “Some interesting images here. This ones dated 1940 Brooklyn Heights...Isn’t that where all the fags used to hang in your day? Before the cops drug them off to the sanitariums to fix ‘em?” Steve lunged forward tacking Rumlow. He felt the table cave as they smashed into it.

The others quickly tried to pull him off but it was useless. Everyone stopped when Fury and Hill walked into the room. He looked around the room and then back at Steve and Brock. “There better be a damn good reason for this. Rogers, go with Hill. Rumlow, come with me. The rest of you clean up this mess and wait for further instructions. NOW!” Steve stood up and grabbed his book off the floor while Fury hauled Rumlow up and marched off towards his office. Maria’s office was not far from the break room. He walked behind her completely ashamed that he let Rumlow get under his skin that way. 

They stepped into the office and he took a deep breath “Maria, I’m so sorry I-” she raised her hand. “I feel like you aren’t the problem here Steve. Trust me this isn’t a first for Rumlow. I’m just glad you didn’t kill him. I can cover a lot of things but manslaughter isn’t one of them. So mind telling me what’s up?” He couldn’t stop himself as he began to shake, clutching the book close to him. “I...I know things are different now. So much has changed but...There is still so much I’m not ready for people to know. I don’t think I will ever be ready for them to know and...and...That part of me was violated….by people I trusted.” She passed him a glass of water and sat near him.

“Do you want disciplinary action taken against him?” He looked up at her “What?” Her expression was gentle. He clearly wasn’t in trouble nor was she upset with him in any way. “Would you like him to be disciplined? He stole personal property. What he did in the breakroom could be considered harassment and then of course there is the use of homophobic slurs.” Steve shook his head and opened his book to check on the pages. Thankfully it hadn’t been damaged. Bucky had given him that book for his birthday and he was thrilled when Tony had found it in Howards belongings. He stopped on the picture Rumlow was showing. It was him before the serum and Bucky holding him close as they danced in a club. It was the first time he really remembered getting drunk. It was right after he had gotten a big paycheck from an art commission. They had money to pay the rent, buy his meds and still be able to go out and they did. They even took a cab, not all the way to the club of course but close enough that they could walk the rest of the way.

“Maria….I don’t know. This book….I...you look at this and tell me what you would do.” He handed the book to her and she took it. “Are you sure Steve? I know your art is very personal.” He nodded “Yea. I just...You are gonna hear things about me from that and I want you to know. The first new picture in it is of Natasha. I had her permission to do it. I know she wouldn’t mind you seeing it but no one especially those guys were supposed to see it.” She nodded and carefully flipped pages. “Steve...these drawings..” She could see the blush on his cheeks and ears and the back of his neck. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. They are incredible. You have things documented in here that we have only ever heard stories about. You know the fight for gay rights took a huge step right here in New York. It’s why we have Pride month in June.” 

He quietly nodded his head still looking at his feet. “I never wanted them to know I liked men.” He was so quiet as he said it. He then looked up at her. “I mean...I..I like women too but I mean I…..” he trailed off and looked back down at his feet. Just then her phone range. She stepped aside to answer it and returned a few minutes later. “Rumlow is suspended for a week. You...you are suspended for two weeks. After that you need to come back for an evaluation with a S.H.I.E.L.D. counselor. Nick’s gonna cancel your leave request so you don’t waste your time.” He paled as he looked at her “Am I going to lose my job with S.H.I.E.L.D.?” She shook her head. “No. You have been under a lot of emotional stress lately. We want to make sure you are healthy physically and mentally before you go out into the field. Please don’t think of this as a punishment.” 

She took a gamble and wrapped her arms around him. He went rigid for a moment before he relaxed a bit. “So I will set up a meeting with a counselor whenever you are ready. You have to take at least the two weeks but if you need more time please let me know. No one will hold that against you.” He got up and nodded. “Thank you Maria. I hope this doesn't impact how you see me.”  
“Absolutely not. Nothing has changed. I still have the utmost respect for you. Just so you know in about 2 minutes a surge is going to go through the building and wipe phone data that is less than 24 hours old so if anyone has any snapshots they are going to find them suddenly gone.” He gave her a small smile as he left “Thanks Hill, I owe ya one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading kudos and comments appreciated


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter hope you enjoy

He made his way into his suite and sat in the chair. He had already let Nat know about the incident. He knew she couldn't do much since she was working but he gave her the courtesy of knowing Rumlow had seen the picture so that she wasn’t blind sided. Clint came in a few minutes later. “Nat called me and said you got put on leave for two weeks. Wanna talk about it? She said to tell you it was ok if I knew, whatever that means.” Steve looked up from his spot. “Beat up Rumlow in the breakroom.” Clint couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped. “You what?! Oh my god. I missed that? I would have PAID to see you pound him.” He saw a small smile on Steve’s lips."He crossed a line he shouldn’t have. He broke into my locker and took my sketchbook. I didn’t have time to bring it back here before that last call and I didn’t think in a million years someone would break into my locker and take it. Clint before you hear it from someone else...I...I need to tell you, I like guys...I like girls, women, too. I know there’s a word..for that I just can’t....”  
“Bisexual.. You are describing bisexuality.” He nodded “thanks. I'm just trying to come out ahead of this. I hadn't really told anyone. I hadn't planned to. I'm not ashamed it's just really personal. Now I'm sure half of S.H.I.E.L.D. knows."

Clint sat down on the couch. "How did you realize you liked guys? If you don't mind me asking?" He smiled "My best friend was teaching me to kiss because I took a girl out and she told everyone I was a bad kisser. He sat me down to show me. One thing led to another and my mother came home to find us making out on her couch." Clint's eyes widened.

"Was she upset?" Steve laughed "Hell no. She laughed and said it made her feel better knowing I would always be loved and she told us to be careful. I think she knew before I did." Clint was silent for a moment. "Was it Barnes? You don't have to tell me it's just I knew a lot of guys in the circus who shared a tent with their best guy and it was always a more than friends situation." He closed his eyes and smiled fondly. "Yea….yea it was Bucky. God...I miss him so much it hurts. That stays between us. Not even Natasha knows that one or if she does she hasn't said." 

They sat quietly for a while, finally Clint cleared his throat. "So um.. since you aren't chained to S.H.I.E.L.D. at the moment we could leave for my place today. We could make a road trip out of it. Take our time. Laura's not expecting us for three days. That's plenty of time to drive there. My trucks in the garage ready to go." Steve got up and smiled. "I've never been on a road trip before. Give me 30 minutes to pack up and we can head out." Clint headed for the door "I'll meet you in the garage then."


	4. Chapter 4

Steve met Clint in the garage and was somehow not surprised when they walked over to a ratty looking truck. “Really went in on the whole farm thing huh?” Clint laughed “Not quite, we don’t have any animals aside from chickens. Laura keeps wanting to get a cow but I told her that until the kids are old enough to actually care for it we can’t get a cow. I especially don’t want to get one with kid #3 on the way.” He stopped for a moment “Aw shit. Don’t tell Nat you found out before her. She would be crushed to know she wasn’t the first to know.” He pulled into a convenience store parking lot and parked. “What are you doing?”

“Road trip snacks. Can’t have a good road trip without good snacks so come on. If it doesn't look like you handed a 7 year old $100 and told them go nuts you are doing it wrong.'' After about 20 minutes the counter did in fact look like a child was handed $100 and told to go nuts. There were several bottles of soda and other drinks, bags of chips cookies and candy and 6 hotdogs. Clint picked most of it since Steve was still getting used to new food. He still tended to stick with things he knew. Occasionally Tony or Natasha would get him to try something new but even still that was a rare occasion. 

The kid working the counter looked at the enormous collection of junk food and then at Clint and Steve. “Road trip or stoner party?” Clint snorted “Definitely a road trip. She eyed him playfully until she registered who was standing next to him. “Oh...yea road trip sorry I didn’t mean to infer..” He held up his hand “It’s ok. Everyone has smoked pot at least once in their life.” Clint gawked at him “Are you being serious right now?” He laughed and picked up the bags. “I wasn’t always Captain America Clint. You have a nice day ma’am.” 

They got in the car and Clint stared at him. “Seriously? You have smoked pot before? Man that must have sucked without a McDonalds around.” Steve laughed “I don’t remember much. I was at a club when it was passed around. Besides I’ve gotten this far in life without McDonalds I think I’ll be ok.” Clint was staring at him again. “You’ve been back all this time and NO ONE has taken you to McDonalds??? That is a crime. A travesty a...a...that’s just sad. We have to go at least once on this road trip.” 

They drove for a few hours finally before Steve noticed Clint fighting to stay awake. “Here pull over and switch.” He shook his head. “Nah it's late. Lets just stop for the night. Looks like there's a hotel at the next exit.” They drove for about 20 more minutes and pulled up to a hotel that looked ok except that there were dozens of cats in the parking lot. “OK then...this is by far the weirdest thing I have seen at a hotel.”

Steve got out and kneeled down holding his hand out. He was immediately swarmed with curious cats. “You are unbelievable. How do you know they aren’t sick or something?” He rolled his eyes. “I could never pet cats before the serum. They bothered my Asthma so bad. It was a shame too as I love cats.” He reached forward and plucked a little spotted one up. It was scrawny and clearly looked like it had been in its fair share of fights. “Look at this little one.” An old lady stepped out of the hotel office and laughed. Are you boys looking for a room or did you just stop to play with my cats?”

Steve picked himself up off the ground still holding the cat and smiled at her. “Yes we are looking for a room ma'am. I guess we just got...distracted.” She looked at them for a moment “Steven? Is that you?” He stopped and stared the woman down. “Lorraine? Is it really you?” The woman smiled “In the flesh but I promise I won’t pin you to a file cabinet and kiss you this time.” He grinned playfully at her “I don’t know it’s been a while since a gal kissed me and Peg ain't here to stop ya.” She cackled and opened the door. “Well come inside. Let’s get you two settled.”

They followed her to a room and she handed them the key. You can put your things down and I’ll get some coffee going. You and I need to catch up, soldier.” She left them to get settled. Clint was staring between her and Steve. “Something on your mind Clint?”  
“Yea..um what just happened?” He chuckled as he sat his bag down on the bed. “Lorraine was a very handsy secretary with the S.S.R. Before Peg and I were really a thing she took me by surprise and pinned me to the file cabinet and kissed me. Peg was furiously jealous. She even tried to shoot me over it.” He chuckled at the memory. “I explained to her that I was taken by surprise but Howard was the one that got through to her. He reminded her that I wasn’t the type that would go around kissing random women especially when I was working. I give the woman credit though, she sure as hell tried.” Clint grinned “Well I guess I get to hear some dirty little secrets about our dear Captain tonight.” 

They spent a few hours talking and reminiscing before they finally called it a night. Clint hadn’t seen Steve look this happy even on his best day. He walked Lorraine to her room and gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her good night and then they walked down the hall to their room. “How old was she when she kissed you?” he barked out a laugh. “She was barely 18. Buck always called her the jailbait babe. She’s far from 18 now.” 

Clint was hardly surprised that Steve was up and ready to go by the time he was getting up. He smiled at the sight of him sitting in one of the chairs outside with a cat in his lap talking to Lorraine. He snapped a picture and texted it to Natasha. He knew she wouldn’t get it just yet but he was certain she would appreciate it. He followed it with the tagline “Think Stark would break the no pets rule for him?” 

They thanked Lorraine and went on their way. “I can’t believe you managed to find someone you knew at an old motel in the middle nowhere.” Steve seemed more relaxed today although he still looked like he could use some more sleep but maybe they would be able to work on that when they got home. “Not the strangest thing that has happened to me.” He smiled “No I guess it isn’t huh?” 

They passed through miles of mostly nothing but Clint took every chance to stop at some silly tourist thing when they passed it. “Clint..where the hell are we going?” He smiled “If I told you Cap I would have to kill you. If it helps midwest, that’s as far as I’m telling you.” He nodded “Ok fair enough I’m sure I will figure it out.” 

They finally reached an actual city and the first thing Clint did was pull into a McDonalds drive through. The cashier didn’t seem too thrilled that he ordered a dozen cheeseburgers and several large orders of fries along with drinks and ice cream. “Clint...Are you determined to fatten me up on this road trip?” He said with a grin. “Oh come on. Bruce told me how many calories you need in a day. Don’t even try to play that card with me. Besides there’s still work to do at my place I’m sure you’ll make up for it.” He watched out of the corner of his eye as Steve did eat most of what Clint thought he would. “Man we need to teach you to eat like Thor. That dude has no shame when it comes to how much food he eats.” 

“I’ve always had enough Clint. I don’t need to eat everything.” He reached over and stole a fry from the cup “See that's the problem. I know when you grew up food was kinda scarce but you are super fortunate now. You don't have to ration it. None of us are going to let you go hungry.” He could now see a guilty look on Steve’s face. “I know it’s just...I feel like I have no right eating that much when so many people don't have anything. I know what it’s like to be starving. I know what it’s like to worry about where your next meal is coming from or even if your next meal is coming.” Clint sighed “That is why Tony donates to so many food banks. That's why most of your S.H.I.E.L.D. pay goes to charity. You are doing everything you can short of taking food to the needy yourself and somehow I have a feeling you already do that without us knowing.” 

“There’s a lot of things I do that you all don’t know about.” Clint decided to give it a shot. “Care to share Cap?” He was silent for a while. Clint was certain he had pushed too far but then he spoke up. “ I um.. I help organize drag shows. There’s a community center for LQBTQ people in Brooklyn. The kids wanted to do a drag show but there aren’t a ton of people willing to help so I lend a hand. I show them how to do their makeup and help paint sets and props and get permits set up. They are good kids. I met some of them when Tony sent me to speak at one of the schools. They know who I am but they don’t make a big deal. I don’t do it for attention. I do it because when I was their age I would have killed to be as open with myself as they are. I was fortunate enough to have my mom and when the Howlies accidentally found out they were really cool about it. Dum Dum had his reservations but Bucky told him not to knock it till he tried and kissed him full on the mouth. I thought he was gonna kill him but he laughed and looked me dead in the eye and said If that was what I was getting from him he could see the appeal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading kudos and comments greatly appreciated


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> homophobic slurs used.

Evening 2 of their near cross country road trip found them in a small town with a crappy motel and a dinner. They walked in and the place stopped dead as they looked at Steve in his tight t shirt and Clint in his purple Hawaiian shirt looking more like he was headed for California than a farm. They took a seat at a booth and things seemed to resume. Steve looked around a little nervously. “I um...don’t think we are welcome here Clint.” He rolled his eyes. “Come on they just probably don’t get many out of towners especially ones that look like they should be a GQ cover model.” 

After a while a waitress finally came over. “Can I help you fellas?” Clint grinned at her “Yes ma’am can I get a cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake?” She frowned “No. You can get out.” Steve looked at her “Excuse me Ma’am?” She glared at him “I think you heard me fine son. You can get out. Get in your car and keep moving.” Clint noticed the cook had now stepped out from the kitchen and was edging closer. Steve sat back in his seat a little. “I don’t think I understand. Have we done something wrong?” It was a brief moment but Clint saw it. The scrawny kid in the history books who didn’t back down. “Last I checked this was a free country and my friend and I have the right to stop for dinner.”

The woman nodded “It is a free country and a private business reserves the right to not serve customers they don’t want to.” He crossed his arms. “That is true Ma’am but only when there is a reason. As far as I see all we did was walk in the door and seat ourselves as the sign said.” A few more were now stepping over and Clint had to admit he was getting nervous. “It would be a shame for the health department to get a call from a concerned patron regarding the state of this place or worse the better business bureau.” finally a scrawny little guy with a mullet shot up from his seat at the counter. “She tried to be nice about it but you ain’t gettin' it. We don’t welcome fags.” 

To the surprise of Clint and everyone else in the diner Steve began to laugh. After a minute or two he composed himself. “Damn. It’s a shame I didn’t bring my black boyfriend and it’s a shame no one taught you not to judge a book by it’s cover. He’s married to a wonderful woman. Now we both know that the next town is at least three hours away and it’s already quite late so how about we order food we pay for food that food and we go on with our lives, at the end of the day you still get paid.” Clint thought for a moment and it was a very short moment that Steve may have charmed his way out of this mess but he was sadly mistaken.

The cook was now at the table looking at them. “Son just leave. Do the smart thing.” Steve stood up and rolled his eyes. “Seems to me this town wouldn’t know what the smart thing was if it walked up and bit them.” Clint could only groan as Steve dug a deeper hole. “Son, you need to learn some respect.”  
“That’s another thing. Where do you get off calling me son. I’m older than you by a long shot.” The man just stared at him. “He’s Captain America you dumb ass” Clint finally groaned out. Now everyone in the diner was staring wide eyed. “Is he shittin' us?” Steve grinned. “You can take his word for it or we can find out in the parking lot. What’s it gonna be boys?” Most of them sat down. The cook did not and that was what Clint was afraid of. He was huge even when compared to Steve. Steve wasn’t in top shape. Bruce had told him he needed to take it easy. The man finally looked at the waitress. “Just get their orders so they can eat and get out.” 

The rest of their meal was pretty much uneventful but rushed. The waitress practically threw their food at them. Steve still smiled and thanked her. When they got the bill he left a $100 tip. Clint shook his head but didn’t question it. Steve was peculiar when you picked a fight with him but there was a method to the madness. When they got to the truck there was a note on the windshield. “Best bet is a campground a few miles out of town. You don’t want to stay in that motel.” Clint passed the note to Steve. “Sounds good to me if it’s good to you.” He shrugged “As long as I can get some sleep and you don’t get into a parking lot fight with Shrek in there we are good.” 

They found the signs for the campground and pulled up to the office. A young woman stepped out and smiled “Diner guys! Sorry I got a text from my gal she said you didn’t get a great reception in town. Welcome to the outsiders. I can rent ya a tent or a cabin. Just let me know what ya prefer.” Steve held out his hand. “Nice to meet you. I'm Steve, this is Clint. Seems they got some funny ideas in town about my relationship with my friend here.” She looked between them and smiled “Yup. That’s Redsburrough for ya. Clearly two dudes traveling together have to be gay. I mean so what if they are. They should be happy someone stopped along the way to give them business. So what brings ya to the death of culture anyway?” They followed her into the office.

“Passing through, Heading home to my wife and kids and bringing my friend to meet them.” She smiled and pulled out a map. Cabins are in the back here. They are $90 a night. Tent sites are $75 that includes the tent and sleeping bags since I’m pretty sure you didn’t bring those along. Breakfast is ready at 8 check out by noon.” Steve looked over at Clint “Your choice I’ll pay.”   
“Cabin please. I’m not the tent camping type.” Steve laughed “I haven't slept in a tent since 1944.” The girl put a hand on her hip “So my gal wasn’t lying, you are Captain America?” 

“Yup the one and only.” She smiled “Well in that case don’t worry about paying. I wouldn’t feel right taking your money.” Clint laughed “He won’t accept that. He even gave the waitress at the diner a $100 tip.” She grinned “Maybe I should charge you double but seriously my town has definitely screwed up when they don’t even welcome Captain America.” He shook his head “To be fair I didn’t go in and announce myself and frankly I don’t want to go out of my way to make them like me if that's how they treat people.” She nodded “Yup. That's why I live out here just like my parents and my grandparents. Anyone who is able just gets outta here but I figure if I’m not here to give people passing through a safe place to sleep it could get ugly for some. I don’t want this town to become another Laramie.” Clint turned to explain it to Steve but he nodded “I know what she’s talking about. It was in the book from S.H.I.E.L.D.” 

She took them to a cabin and said goodnight leaving the two of them in silence. “I can’t believe those people. I fought to stop things like that. Buck and I always hoped that one day people like us would be safe to be who we are. Even now gay people can’t even get married in all 50 states.” Clint had no words. Steve had a lot to process over the last few days. “I can only tell you that people have been doing everything to make it right and while it should have been legal way before now in all states we are getting there.” He nodded “I know Clint. I know. I see people aren’t locked away or given cruel operations to "fix" them. Still so many are facing loss of jobs and homelessness not to mention the abuse and...and..and….”

He watched as Steve collapsed onto the bed, his chest heaving as his body shook. “Easy Steve easy.” He looked over at him. “I can’t breath Clint...I can’t breath.” He came over. “It’s ok. Try and match my breathing. Nice and slow in and out.” He rubbed his hand up and down his back. “Hey can you tell me what colors you see in the room?” He looked at him wide eyed and confused. “C..c..can’t see colors. You know that Buck.” He kept rubbing his back. “Steve. It’s Clint. Not Bucky. It’s 2013. You are on a road trip with me, remember? You can see colors fine now. Tell me what you see ok?”   
“P..P..Purple….Black…..b..b..brown…..” He calmed down a little as his breathing evened out and he leaned into Clint.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have gotten a grip. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that. It’s not fair for you to deal with my problems.” Clint didn’t move him. “Man I can be there if you need me. Is that the first time you have had a panic attack?” He adjusted on the bed still looking down playing with the hem of his shirt. “Is that what that was?” Clint couldn’t help the slap to his own forehead. “Did you tell your therapist about this?” He shook his head. “She said I would adjust better if I learned to take care of myself and my problems. I was too dependent on people like Bucky to deal with things and I’m not a child anymore. I need to deal with things head on.” Clint blew out a breath to keep from screaming. "What else has your therapist told you?” 

Steve got really quiet. “I..don’t want to bother you with it.” He pulled him into a hug. “I don’t know what they told you but the last thing you should be doing is bottling this stuff up or dealing with it alone. God no wonder you haven’t completely adjusted. I’m gonna tell you here and now, it is absolutely ok to come to someone if you are having a problem. Me, Nat, Bruce, hell I bet even Tony could help if it really came down to it. You have needs as a human being and if those needs are neglected you will destroy yourself.” 

He wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded. “Yea, Thor said something kinda like that. He found me in the common room after a…. a panic attack? He calmed me and took me back to bed. I kinda go to him but I don’t talk, I just lay down with him and it helps. Keeps me grounded ya know.” He patted his back. “Yea but if you ever need to talk or if Thor’s not around any of us would be happy to help. We want you to be healthy physically and emotionally. Is that what's been eatin’ at ya these last few weeks?” He shook his head. “Don’t like the fireworks.”

“You what?” He was looking at his feet again. “The fireworks. I used to love them. Ma always said they were for me cuz it was my birthday but then last year….All i could think of was the war. It felt so real I could almost smell the bodies. I thought I was going insane. My therapist told me they were just fireworks and I would get used to it.” Clint couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Um...dude..Tony goes to Malibu because he has flashbacks to Afghanistan when he hears fireworks. Bruce goes out of the country to keep the Hulk from freaking out. Hundreds of soldiers go through the exact same thing. You are not being a child and you sure as hell aren’t alone. You need a new fuckin' therapist.”

The next morning they grabbed breakfast and packed up to move on. Clint said they would be at his house that evening and he was ready to go. Steve paid for the cabin despite protests from the owner and thanked her for her kindness. He just hoped that the last leg of this trip was less eventful compared to yesterday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading kudos and comments appreciated :) stay healthy and stay safe


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second small chapter today because why not its Wednesday and i felt like it. the next one will be in a couple days :)

They drove most the day only stopping to switch drivers and eat. Late that evening they pulled down a long driveway to a house in seemingly the middle of nowhere. “Nearest towns about 30 minutes out nearest Walmart is 20 min out.” Steve smiled at the sight of the house. “Never been to one of those.” Clint laughed “Well I’ll be sure to educate you on Walmart before we leave. I wish I could have recorded Nats first time in one.” When they got closer to the house two little kids came bolting out of the house. Both were wearing pajamas. “DADDY! We told mom you would be home in time to read a story.” He scooped both kids up. “Of course. Guys this is Mr. Steve. He’s going to be staying with us for a little while.” 

He smiled at the two kids. “They can call me Steve. It's ok.” The little boy scrunched his face “He’s not uncle Steve? Most people you bring home are Aunt or Uncle like Uncle Nick.” Steve smirked. “I hadn’t asked Steve if he was comfortable with that. Who knows it could change.” He winked at Steve as he walked toward the house. Steve grabbed his bags and followed. 

They stepped inside where a brunette woman was waiting for them. She wrapped Clint in a hug and gave him a kiss. "You go ahead and read to them I'll get Steve settled." Clint moved upstairs and Laura turned her attention to Steve. "Hi, I'm Laura. Clint's told me so much about you. Nice to finally meet you face to face." Steve held out his hand. "Nice to meet you as well ma'am. I wish I could say the same but thank you all the same for having me. I hope I'm not imposing."

"Not at all and please call me Laura. Clint tries to keep his home life private. His line of work can make things a bit sticky if everyone knows and I'm sure you know how much people at S.H.I.E.L.D. like to talk." He couldn't help but think of Rumlow as she made her quip. "Oh I know all too well. For a government agency they sure like to gossip and have no problem making their own conversation." She looked at him and frowned. 

"Clint told me something went down before you guys left. If you need someone to talk to we are here but no pressure. You are here to relax. Here's your room. We're both normally up around five but you feel free to get up any time you like breakfast isn't normally ready until seven." He nodded. "Thank you. Please let me know if you need me to do anything." She smiled "I need you to relax. Clint and I can take care of everything. We have plenty planned to keep you busy. Now you get settled. Let us know if you need anything. Good night Steve."  
"Good night ma- Laura."

When she left the guest room Clint slipped behind her and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so glad i'm home." She leaned into him and tilted her head back. "Is he ok? He seems kind of nervous. Especially when work comes up." Clint frowned as he pulled her towards the couch. "Lot of things. The therapist S.H.I.E.L.D. hooked him up with told him he was childish for having flashbacks. Told him to get over them. Some things went down with Strike that frankly in any other job would have gotten people fired, hell Steve could sue but he's not that kinda guy. I just hope we can help him."

They laid on the couch for a while talking about the plans for the next few weeks and the birthday party. "I have the stuff to make a chocolate cake. I also got some ice cream. Christy said if we wanted we could come to her place and take everyone out on the horse trails. You know she needs the company since Duke passed. Who knows maybe she and Steve might hit it off. Before you start that was Natasha's suggestion not mine but it might be nice for both of them." Clint hugged her close. "Don't go expecting some hallmark movie moment. Steve doesn't warm up to people that easily. Although I would like to see the city boy on a horse. Nat would pay to see that."  
"He wants to help out while he's here." Clint grinned "I'll have him get the eggs." She rolled her eyes. "Are you thinking he can handle Jack?"   
"Come on Lar, don't you wanna see who will win? A super soldier or a grouchy old rooster?" She smiled a little "Even Tasha is scared of Jack. He is a terror to everyone but you."   
"Well tomorrow I bet Steve will show Jack a thing or two."  
"I hope you are right about that."  
"When have I ever been wrong?" Laura grinned wide "that depends on your definition of wrong."  
"Heeeeey, mean."  
"You know you love me."  
"Yes I do. Forever and always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :) stay safe stay healthy


	7. Chapter 7

Steve settled into bed. The window was open slightly and he could smell the trees and fresh air. It was a pleasant change from the stink of the city. He could hear crickets chirp and animals scurry. He closed his eyes and drifted off for once not worried about nightmares. He was going to be ok. Things were going to be ok.

He woke up to someone carefully opening the door to his room. He could see it was still dark out but not far from daybreak. He cautiously opened one eye and found Cooper and Lila carefully examining him from the foot of the bed. "I'm telling you THAT'S Captain America" the little boy hissed as quietly as possible. "Nah-uh. Where's his Shield?" The boy put his hands on his hips in a way that screamed Nat. "He's on a break DUH. You don't take your backpack everywhere when you're not in school." She crossed her arms and huffed and he could see Clint in her. "You aren't supposed to make so much sense you're 6." 

Cooper seeing that he had won held his chin high. The door creaked open and Clint looked in. "Guys let's leave Steve alone. Come on. Go brush your teeth since you're up. Lila, help Coop." Once they left Steve sat up and smiled. "Cute kids." Clint shrugged apologetically. "I didn't know they were in here. Sorry about that." He waved him off "it's no problem. I don't need as much sleep anyway. Anything I can help with this morning?" Clint smiled "well since it's your first morning here how about you go get the eggs from the hen house. The girls will let you move them. Don't let Jack bother you. He's just a grouchy old rooster." 

A bit later Steve was dressed and heading towards the chicken coop while Clint was prepping food for the chickens nearby. He walked in the gate with the basket Laura handed him. The chickens all eyed him suspiciously as he carefully stepped inside the large hen house. He remembered Laura telling him not to take eggs from the chickens on the lower right. Aside from that he was good. "Morning ladies. Pardon the intrusion." He carefully moved the first chicken and found a few eggs. 

He moved down the rows and finally made it to the last nest when he realized it was occupied by a huge rooster. There were people who kept chickens in his old neighborhood and he saw them on the French countryside during the war but this rooster was a monster. He stood up and stared at Steve, his one eye milky and dead. He sported several battle scars. "You must be Jack huh?" 

At that the bird leapt at him sending him stumbling backwards into the small window of the hen house. He couldn't stop himself from falling through it as he was trying to keep the rooster from tearing his face apart. His backside punched out the window causing him to fold forward. He was prepared to fall to the ground however his fall was halted as his body was firmly wedged in the window frame. He couldn't get out. 

Clint came in to check on him after Jack walked out of the house chest puffed proudly. He didn't expect to see Steve comically stuck in the small hen house window. He began to cackle at Steve. "Don't feel bad, even Nat can't deal with Jack. Let's get you out of there." 

Despite their efforts Clint needed help. Steve wasn't able to find purchase because of the way his arms and legs were jammed. "Try wiggling a bit. Maybe if we can get your hips loose we can angle you out. " He took Clint's suggestion and began to wiggle. The handmade hen house was not built for the advent of a Super soldier trying to wiggle free from the window. Steve froze when he heard the first creak followed by a minescuel cracking. 

Before Clint knew what was happening the back wall of the house rocked back and tore off from the house. He carefully stepped over and helped Steve off the ground. "Well….I guess the remodel of that chicken coop just moved to the front of the list. We'll go to the hardware store after breakfast." Steve looked at the broken wall in the ground "sorry" he said as he grabbed the back of his neck.

Before they left the chicken yard Jack made one last show of dominance as he dove for Steve. "That chicken is a monster Clint." He threw his head back and laughed. "He loves me for some reason. I got him by accident when he was a chick. He was in a bale of hay I bought to put down while we were doing work. I thought he was crushed but then he came around so we kept him and decided we needed some hens for him once he was a bit older.” Steve shook his head “Guess you just have a way with hard cases huh?” He grinned “I hope you aren’t comparing Nat to Jack because she will kill you.” Steve laughed “No, of course not, Natasha a hard case? Never.” They stepped into the house Laura looked up and smiled “Perfect timing we just finished making breakfast. Hope you like chocolate waffles.” 

Steve stared wide eyed at the huge platter of them and smiled “I didn’t know they made them in chocolate.” Laura smiled “These ones are made with cake batter but yea you can get all kinds of flavors.” He watched as the kids began to add fruit and whipped cream and sprinkles to theirs. Clint smiled as he watched Steve carefully copy what the kids were doing. Cooper tapped his arm and handed him a bottle of chocolate syrup. “Gee I didn’t know they still made this stuff” he said, eyeing the Hershey’s bottle in his hands. “Buck and I would scrape together for a can of this when we could. He used to put it in his coffee. We also mixed it with fresh snow. Sometimes if he couldn’t get me to take my medicine he would give me a spoonful of this afterward.” Clint chuckled “I guess a spoonful of sugar does help the medicine go down.” Steve grinned at him “He had other methods that I liked just as much.” Laura shot him a warning look.

Lila stared at him curiously. “Steve how old are you?” Steve took a deep breath “I… I kinda don’t know. I mean in the technical sense Im going to be 95 buuuuut since I didn’t age while i was frozen Im physically 25.” Laura smiled “I think we are going to go with 25. Not too many 95 year olds can say they have the body of a 25 year old can they?” Cooper's eyes were wide. “You were frozen?” he said in a hushed tone. Steve’s expression softened “Yea. Your dad's work found me and didn’t know I was alive but turns out I was ok but I don’t recommend getting frozen for 70 years.” Lila smiled with her face coated in chocolate “I’m glad they found you. You keep daddy safe.” Steve blushed “Shucks I think he takes care of me more.” Laura was snickering behind her coffee cup. “Clint I have to go over to Christy’s house for a while. I need you to watch the kids.” He looked over at her “Aw Gee whiz, Steve and I need to go to the hardware store to fix the chicken coop and it can't wait.”

Steve shot him a look but was secretly smiling. “What happened to the coop?” Clint jabbed a thumb at Steve “The super soldier managed to take the back wall out.” Steve rolled his eyes as he shoved a forkful of waffle in his mouth “Wa’ ‘ack’s fau’t” he said while Laura looked at him “Well, I never thought I’d see Captain America speaking with his mouth full at my dining table.” The blush returned to his cheeks as he swallowed “Sorry Ma’am.” Lila and Cooper giggled. “ooooooooo you got in trouble with mommy” Cooper chided. “He’s Captain America, he doesn’t need to listen to mommy right?” Steve shook his head “Yes I do as long as your mommy is letting me stay here.” Laura grinned “You are well trained aren’t you. I bet the sweetness got you out of a lot of trouble.”

“With everyone one but my Ma and one rather unforgiving nun at church oh, and Mrs Barnes. She didn’t buy it for even a moment.” They talked over breakfast for a while. The kids and Laura asking Steve questions here and there. “How come you aren’t married Steve?” His head shot up at Coopers question. “Um..I haven’t really met the right person.” He eyed him suspiciously “Have you looked for the right person?” he asked skeptically. He looked over at Clint who mouthed an apology. “Coop it doesn’t matter why Steve is married or not. I’m sure he will find someone he is happy with one day.” Lila rolled her eyes “Aunt Nat says he needs to be less picky otherwise he’s hopeless.” Steve looked back at Clint “She did huh? Well I’m gonna have a talk with Aunt Nat when I see her next.” Cooper's face suddenly lit up “You could always marry Aunt Nat!” Steve and Clint both began to choke while Laura was cackling. “Alright you guys. Lets stop questioning Steve’s dating life, you two be good for daddy while I’m gone. I’ll be back this evening.” She kissed them both and then Clint and left. 

“Well then let's clean up the breakfast dishes and go to the hardware store. You both have to promise to be very good. You listen to whatever I or Steve tell you.” They both nodded and began to clear the dishes passing them up to Steve who was already at the sink washing them. Once that was finished they piled into the truck and headed for the hardware store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading kudos and comments greatly appreciated.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some homophobic moments but Nat get's a little revenge

They loaded up into the truck after Clint made a list of what they needed and packed a few things for the kids in a backpack. As they walked past the chickens Jack prowled at the edge of the fence giving Steve the stink eye. 

"Daddy…..can we get lunch at the diner this time?" He smiled at Lila "It depends on how much the tools we need cost pumpkin and how long it takes us." Steve got the impression that money was a bit of an issue. He was aware what S.H.I.E.L.D. pay was. He was thankful for both the backpay he was granted and the fact that Tony didn't charge him rent. "I can pay for the supplies. I'm the one that broke the hen house anyway." Clint smirked and shook his head. "How about we go half. That coop was one bad storm away from doomed you just broke it in a way that kept the hens safe."

They drove for a while as Clint sang along with the old country music playing on the radio. The kids were sitting quietly between them. They finally came upon a tiny little town with a few shops, a grocery store and a diner. They piled out and headed for the hardware store. Cooper and Lila had each grabbed one of Steve's hands and walked with him across the street. The old hardware store looked a bit like it was peeled right out of the 40’s he smiled when he looked around. “I guess hardware stores don;t change much huh?” Clint laughed “not ones like this no. Lets see how long it's going to take to get all this might be a while for them to cut the pieces down. If you like you can wander the store with the kids. They will behave themselves.” He nodded and took the kids towards the greenhouse on the side of the store.

*************************************************************************************************************

S.H.I.E.L.D. Base- Location : Unknown- June 25th

Natasha sat quietly reading a book waiting for the next team briefing. They were waiting for a few more strike members to arrive before they deployed. The room was bustling with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents on their breaks. She heard a stomping of boots and then someone sat down on the arm of the couch behind her head. “Can I help you, Arsnoffe?” The man smirked and held up his phone. “I think you’ve helped me quite a bit already.” There on the screen was a somewhat out of focus shot of the picture Steve had drawn of her. She was far from shy but she didn’t think the image would have circulated especially after Fury got involved. “Good thing it was my off day. Seems Hill tried to erase people’s phones but I was getting it text by text while I was in South Africa on that shitty detail for the meeting with those piss poor Wakandans.” He flipped the screen to a few more drawings mostly of men none of them clothed. “Would never have guessed the Captain was a queer but then I guess thats why he gets all those intimate details with you. Fury get tired of Barton getting in some work AND pleasure?” 

Others in the room were now looking over at them cautiously. She was certain rumors had gone around since everyone knew Rumlow had been taken off this job for suspension but she did not want things going around like this. She took a deep breath to steady herself and stood up. “ Everyone leave now, I would like to be alone with Arsnoffe.” People quickly scurried from the room, no questions asked. It wasn't even questioned when he was found in a supply closet hours later with a broken jaw and a black eye. Natasha found that with enough effort a cell phone could in fact go down a garbage disposal. 

************************************************************************************************************* 

Clint found Steve lifting the kids up to see a bird's nest above the doorway to the greenhouse. “Dad, Steve found baby birds. We got to see them hatch!” He smiled as they continued to look at the nest. The mama bird,sitting nearby watching carefully but so far not finding a threat. “Ok let's leave them be. I think that’s their ma over there.” Clint handed Steve a receipt for the supplies. “Wasn’t as bad as I thought but if ya wanna pay half here’s the invoice. It’s gonna take them an hour or so to get it all packed up. I’m gonna move the truck over so they can load it. We can take a walk and look around till then.”

They waited on the bench outside while Clint moved the car across the street and into the loading area marked by the store. He couldn't help playing with Lila's hair as he sat on his lap patiently waiting. Before he knew it Lila had several small braids in her hair. She carefully ran her hands over them. “Can you do more?” he smiled “Of course I can.” He repositioned her and began more braids. “I wanna learn, teach me?” He looked over at Cooper. “Sure thing. He went through a careful lesson while Clint watched. He then allowed Cooper to help him add a few more braids. He plucked a flower from the planter next to then and tucked it in one of the braids that wrapped around the back of her head . He pulled out his phone, took a picture and showed her “How’s it look?” 

“I love it, especially the flower. How do you know how? Boys don't braid hair.” He smiled as he remembered helping his mom braid her hair as she got ready for work. He sobered a little remembering the last time he was able to do so was when she was dying. She knew she was and she had asked him to braid her hair saying that the undertaker wouldn’t do it the right way if he did it at all. “Steve why are you crying?” He was pulled from his memory by Cooper's concerned voice. “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking of my Ma. I used to help her do her hair while she got ready to go to work. It’s been a long time since I played with someone's hair.” Both Cooper and Lila hugged him. “We’re sorry we made you sad.” 

“Oh, no, don’t be sorry it was a happy memory for the most part.” They stood up from the bench and turned to Clint. “What’s next?” He looked up and down the street. “How about we look in some of the shops and then get some lunch?” Cooper tugged at his pants leg. “Can we go to the library?” He smiled “Of course we can but I don’t know if Dante will be working today.” Steve gave him a curious look. “Dante is one of the librarians there. They showed Coop how to play Pokemon, it’s a card game kinda thing, anyway he really only plays with Dante since they are the only one he knows that has any idea how to play. It’s a little before his time so the kids at school only really know the video games, not so much the cards.” Steve nodded at the explanation. “Maybe Dante can teach me how to play if they are there” he chuckled. Cooper's eyes went wide “You would learn to play with me?”   
“Of course I would.” 

Cooper spent the walk to the library telling Steve all about Pokemon. Clint chuckled as Steve listened to everything he said as he carried him on his shoulders. Finally Cooper stopped talking for a moment and looked around. “WOW! Dad, I can see everything from up here! I’m so much higher than when I ride your shoulders.” Steve couldn’t help laughing at that. “Well I am a foot taller than your dad but I’m sure riding his shoulders has its perks too.” They arrived at the library doors to find it locked. “Huh that's weird. Wonder what's up.” They walked around back to find two older ladies trying to figure out how to get a flat tire off a small van. 

“Mrs. Jasmine, Mrs. Sylvia, what's going on? The front doors were locked.” The women looked over at him. “No one was available to come in and we have to get the van running to drop books off to the center but the goddamn jack is broke and Henry Poole refuses to lend us his. He knows we can;t afford what he charges to come replace the tire.” Steve smiled “Can you ladies get the tire off if the car was lifted?” They nodded “of course. We have been taking care of things on our own for 75 years, no sense stopping now.” He nodded “Ok then let's get this tire fixed. Steve proceeded to walk up to the van and lift the front end up almost effortlessly so that they could take the tire off. 

Within a few minutes it was off and a new tire was being placed. The two women turned to him “Well maybe instead of keeping a jack around we should just keep you.” He smiled “I wish I could but I’m just visiting Ma’am.” Both of them giggled “My it has been quite a long time since someone called either of us ma’am. I’m Slyvia and this is my partner Jasmine.” He held out his hand “Steve Rogers, nice to meet you ladies.” They both exchanged glances. “You mean THAT Steve Rogers?” Clint laughed “Yes THAT Steve Rogers but keep it quiet he’s here on vacation.” They both nodded “Well now that the vans running let's get out of this heat. I think Mr. Rogers has earned something to drink for his hard work.” They moved inside and Jasmine opened up the front doors. Cooper and Lila headed towards the kids section leaving Clint and Steve sitting with Sylvia and Jasmine. “Would you like some water?” He nodded “yes please.” She returned with a glass of water and sat down. 

“So the two fo you are……”  
“Partners, until our state can allow us to be married like some of the others. Why do you ask?” Clint saw an odd almost unreadable expression on his face. “I just...This shouldn’t even be a debate any more. Things were supposed to be better” he said sadly and in that moment Clint could feel the hurt coming from him. “Now now, it is better. We might not be able to be married yet but it's not illegal for Sylvia and I to live together. When I first started seeing her I was in college she was one of only 6 Black students that were allowed to attend. She and I had english 101 together and by winter break we were sneaking off to every place that would have us to be together. I didn't bring her home to meet my parents for fear they would be upset but when my parents asked about any special someone I couldn’t contain my love for her. I asked if they were angry and my dad smiled sweetly. He said, “I was rescued by one of the only integrated units back in the war. I may have lost an arm but thanks to those men I made it out of a prison camp in Germany and home to my family.” I think you know those men I speak of. From that point on Sylvia was part of our family. We went to protests and hearings for civil rights. We transferred to college in California because at least there we were welcome no matter who or what we were. We’ve fought the good fight all these years because of people like you.” He swallowed thickly trying to keep himself together. “I just wish you still didn’t have to. I fought the good fight in 45 with the hope that it would get so much better. We saw the who, what and why. Hundreds of men just like Gabe fought and died for a country that didn’t give two spits about them. They deserved so much better so much sooner.” 

Jasmine patted his hand. “Whether you were here or not you know it would have been a knock down drag out fight. You know how things were back then so don’t beat yourself up about it. Last I checked you weren’t Atlas so the world doesn’t rest on your shoulders even if you think you have the muscles to do it.” Clint couldn’t help but snort. Steve sheepishly nodded. They chatted a little more about the way things were and Jasmine showed him pictures of her father and pictures of them from the protests they’ve been to. Cooper and Lila came over with a couple books to check out so that they could be on their way. Steve gave Jasmine a hug. “Thank you for talking a little bit of sense into an old stubborn soldier.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Well I am the level headed one in this relationship. I’ve pulled Sylvia out of more fights than I can count so I know a bit about talkin’ sense.” He knew what it was like to have one of those in his life. He wondered a little how things would be if he had that again. “Well still, it's appreciated. It was a pleasure meeting you both.” 

They looked through a few of the shops and then headed for the diner. Clint made a face as he looked at the specials board. "Something wrong?" He smiled and said with a shrug "was kinda hopin' for a different special today." Steve glanced at the board and laughed. "My ma would have been hot to see someone charge $7 for a muskrat dinner. That was two months worth of groceries and meds for me." They took a seat at a booth and the waitress brought over some crayons for the kids. 

"Hi Clint long time no see, hows Laura doin'?" He looked up to the woman "hey Harriette she's doing great. She's over at Christy's today. This is my friend Steve. He's in town visiting, we came to pick up some stuff for the coop." Steve held out his hand "nice to meet you Ma'am." She laughed "he really is plucked right outta the 40's. Surprised ol' eye patch had found a way to break that down." Steve gave them a quizzical look.

Harriette used to work with S.H.I.E.L.D. in the waaaaaay back days while Fury still had both his eyes." Steve opened his mouth to ask but was stopped "That information is classified, soldier. If he wanted you to know he would have told you. So everyone know what they want?" Cooper and Lila looked up from the placemat they were drawing on. "We want grilled cheese please" Lila said and resumed drawing. "With tomato soup." She smiled and wrote down the kids orders. "How about you Rogers? I already know what Clint wants." After a moment's thought he made his decision "I'll have the special and a coke please Ma'am." Clint looked at him surprised. "Comes with a slice of pie, what kind will ya have? We have apple, cherry, blueberry, lemon, and strawberry rhubarb." She caught the grin on Steve's face when she said strawberry rhubarb. "Well I guess I'll put down Strawberry. Glad someone appreciates it."

She left and Steve began watching the kids draw. Clint could see him working up the nerve to ask the kids for a crayon. "Hey Coop, Lila, did you know Steve is a really great artist? I bet he could draw something for you if you asked." Lila looked at him and smiled "can you draw something from your favorite movie?" She reached into the backpack Clint had and pulled out colored pencils. "You might want more colors. You can't make a good picture with three colors." Steve opened the box, pulled out grey and Black and passed it back. "Sure ya can. I'll show ya."

He worked away on his place mat as Lila, Cooper, and Clint watched in awe. As he finished he plucked the red pencil from the box and made one last touch. He held it up for them to see the black and white picture of a scene from wizard of Oz. The red of course used for Dorothy's shoes. "WOW." Steve smiled "looks like I finished just in time." Harriette came back with their lunch and sat it down, her eyes then flicked over to the place mat drawing. "Well that's certainly one of the best place mat drawings I've ever seen." Steve smiled and handed it to Lila. "Here, since it was your request you can have it. Maybe we can get a frame for it." She carefully put the drawing in the backpack with the books. "We can do that when we go to walmart next but for now let's chow down."

They ate lunch and talked, with Harriette dropping in to share a story or two about her days at S.H.I.E.L.D. and a few about when Clint and Laura had first moved in. Once they were finished Harriette sent Steve home with some extra pie and they headed for the truck.

Jack kept a close eye on Steve as they worked on the coop but he didn't see any need to attack. When Laura arrived back home that evening the coop was now complete and Steve and Clint were finishing dinner. "Looks like you four had a successful day. Christy said we can come ride horses at the start of next week. We can have a cookout and spend the day." Steve gave her a skeptical look. "I don't think I'm built for horseback riding." Clint patted his back "you'll be fine." 

As it was getting dark Steve kept glancing out the window. Finally Clint got curious. "Something bothering you out there?" He shook his head. "No it's just um...do you get fireflies out here?" He chuckled not expecting him to ask about fireflies. "Yes they should be showing up any time now why?" He saw an almost child-like look on Steve's face "I've never seen them in real life. I've only seen them in movies or read about them in books." Laura looked over at the kids. "We can finish the dishes, how about you take the kids out and they can show you how to catch some fireflies, right guys?" They scrambled off the couch and headed for the door. "Come on Steve let's go!"

They sat on the porch for the next few hours watching Steve run around with the kids and catch bugs. It was hard to believe this man was the Captain America the history books would have them think. He was strong and righteous but they seemed to miss his humanity, his compassion, the things that made him a great man. They were getting to see Steve Rogers.


	9. Chapter 9

After a few days of doing things around the house Laura was finally free and they planned to spend the day fishing at the lake. Clint had taken Steve the day before to get a rod and some bait from the Walmart. It had been an experience to say the least. Mostly as a joke he had picked out a kid's Incredible Hulk fishing rod but Clint had found him an Iron man baseball cap to wear. They loaded up the car with a cooler and chairs and headed for the lake. It was a short enough drive. Honestly Steve could have run there if he wanted to but he was happy to ride with the Barton family.

Lila was showing him how to bait the hook with a worm that Clint had cut into pieces. “I thought you used the whole worm?” Lila rolled her eyes. “It’s too big for the hook and we only have 12 of them. You would be out before you even caught a fish.” He nodded “Oh ok. Well I should listen to an expert shouldn’t I?” Laura came over and interrupted his lesson. "Lila sweetie, let's get sunscreen on you. She began to put lotion on her face, shoulders, neck, and chest. She then moved to Steve. “I’m fine Laura. Even if I burn it won’t last long.” She stared him down “No. You are pastier white than Natasha, super soldier or not you are putting on sunscreen, NOW.” Clint and Cooper were quietly watching the showdown. Steve held his ground for a while longer but inevitably he faltered. “Fine. I can put it on myself.” She tossed him the bottle. We reapply in 90 minutes unless you go swimming before then.” After a moment Steve resumed preparing his rod with Lila. 

Sure enough 90 minutes later on the dot Laura walked right up to Steve and began to apply sunscreen as if he were one of her kids. He could hear her muttering under her breath. “What is it?” She shook her head "you missed your years. That doesn’t hurt at all?” He shrugged “it stings a bit but it will be ok in a bit.” She pulled his shirt up and began to put some on his back causing him to yelp. “Stop being such a child. I swear you are worse than Clint.”   
“OOOOOOoooooo, you’re agitating mommy” the kids teased while Clint was suspiciously quiet.

They fished for a while longer getting a nibble here and there but nothing more. “I think even the fish agree it's too hot. How about we go for a swim guys?” The kids eagerly jumped up and headed to Laura for more sunscreen before they got in. Clint was already putting some on where he could reach and tossed the bottle to Steve. “Can you get my back?” He chuckled “Sure Clint.”  
“Clint honey, make sure to get Steve too.” Steve rolled his eyes but was otherwise smiling. “She’s worse than Nat” he quietly muttered to Clint. “Where do you think Nat learned it?”

Once Laura was satisfied that everyone was protected they jumped in. Steve sat on the side dipping his feet in. “Aren’t you getting in?” He looked up at Laura. "I um...I’ve never swam before. I was trying to gauge how deep it was and I…” Whatever followed came out in a low mumble drowned out by Clint and the kids playing and splashing. Laura took a seat on the bank next to him. “It’s not too deep, probably up to your shoulders. There is a marker right out there that tells you where it drops down so that the fish don't freeze to death in the winter.” She pointed over to a pole with a green flag in the water about 100 feet out. As long as you stay on this side you will be ok.” He gave a small nod and slid into the water. It was a little cooler than he expected but he knew he could do this.

He took a deep breath to calm himself and carefully moved towards Clint. As he pulled his arm out of the water he let out a panicked shriek as it had several large leeches on it. Clint noticed the freak out and came over. “Steve calm down. They won't harm you ,see we all got them.” He held up his arm to reveal a few on him. He scrambled out of the water and Laura came over with a spray bottle. “Here this works" she sprayed the leeches and they easily let go and she tossed them back into the water. “I guess we should have warned you about leeches.” Steve shook his head. “Yea...I’m gonna pass on swimming. When I was a kid some of my treatments involved leeches.” Laura patted his arm “That's ok you can keep me company.” He nodded looking towards the spray bottle. “What is that?” She smiled "just a little saline solution. It doesn't hurt the leeches but it makes them let go.”

He watched as the kids and Clint splashed around occasionally peeling a leech off and laughing at the marks they left. “Clint, don’t let them do that. I’ll spray them down if they want them off.” Steve smiled at the chorus of aws from them. “You certainly have your hands full with them. How do you do it when he’s away?” She smiled “I have help when I need it and we raised them well. They know when dad’s not here I need all the help I can get especially when it gets close to this little one’s arrival.” Her hand rested on the small barely visible bump. “I can’t wait to tell Nat. You have to keep it a secret. She will be crushed if you found out first.” He nodded “Scout’s honor.”

As the day went on Steve managed to catch one pitiful little trout but Clint took a picture of him holding it proudly to send Nat. Laura badgered him constantly about sunscreen which he had applied every time she told him too. He took a little time to draw as they swam and fished and had started reading a book or two. They had a late lunch and no one questioned that Steve practically inhaled four sandwiches and a handful of cookies. They packed up around sunset. “Hey guys, how about I order some pizza? It should be here in a little while and we can watch a movie.” The kids cheered as they climbed into the car. Steve was hungry and exhausted but he would be more than happy to watch a movie. About an hour later everyone was washed up and in pajamas happily eating pizza. 

The kids were piled on a blanket on the floor and Clint and Laura were each in a chair leaving Steve the couch. Lila had picked Beauty and the Beast to watch and if they were still up for it afterward Cooper had picked the little mermaid. He made it halfway through Beauty and the Beast before he fell asleep.when he woke up again the tv was off and a blanket was placed over him and all the pizza mess was cleaned up. For a moment he forgot where he was. “Jarvis what time is it?” It sank in that he was at Clint's and he looked around. The clock on the microwave read 2:30 am. He got up, stretched, grabbed a drink of water and for once headed back to bed still tired from the long day at the lake. 

*************************************************************************************************************

A week and a half had flown by faster than Steve had expected. They were going to go horseback riding tomorrow and the kids were pretty excited and his birthday was in a couple days too. He was torn between excitement and dread. He had a feeling the Barton's had something planned but he wasn't sure where his head would be that day. On his last birthday with Bucky he gifted him a ring. They knew they couldn't be married for real but they didn't need papers or a church to tell them they were meant for each other. 

Laura noticed Steve lost in his head as Clint herded the kids upstairs for their bath. "Hey… need to talk?" He was startled a moment having forgot where he was again. "I… it's nothing." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Doesn't seem like nothing to me. You can talk about anything here and it stays here." She got up and grabbed two glasses and filled them with milk and gave him one and then placed down a pack of oreos. She watched Steve's eyes light up with recognition. 

"A little birdie told me you have a sweet tooth and i did some research. Thought something familiar would be nice." He took a cookie and peeled it apart. "Ma would get a pack for me for Christmas if she could afford them. They were an honest to god treat when they were around. I always shared them so normally I got one of them and then the rest were offered to others. When Buck got his first pay from the docks he bought a pack just for me. That was a good night." She could see a blush creeping across his skin.

"You loved him huh?" He stopped a moment. "I mean yea...he...he...he was my best friend." Laura gave him a look. "Sweetheart if anyone thinks he was only your friend when they see you talk about him they are blind." He was silent, unsure of what to say next. He knew Clint was accepting but he didn't know where Laura stood. "Does Nat know?" He nodded his head "I like dames too it's just… Clint told me there was a word for that now. I just I...I…" she moved over to him "hey hey it's ok. You can love whoever you want. We don't punish people for that anymore." 

He took a deep breath "I got outed before we came here. At first I thought I could deal with it. I didn't feel like I had to hide myself but now it's just...seeing how people still treat people like me….clearly my team isn't all for it. What about the others. My avengers. What if they don't want to follow me anymore. What if Tony doesn't want me at the tower? I'd have to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D. and we know how that went." He was beginning to shake and he couldn't breathe. Laura pressed her hand to his back and began to rub. "Steve….Steve sweetie listen to me. Listen, no one is going to abandon you. Tony Stark especially. That man has been the biggest supporter of the LGBTQ community. Stark industries recognized same sex partners for benefits at least a decade before most large companies not to mention the man is openly bisexual. The point is if you talk to them I think you will find more people will support you than not."

He closed his eyes focusing on his breathing. "That's it. In...out...in….out. Good, good. Finish your milk and try to get some sleep. It's gonna be a good day tomorrow."

The day was so far off to a terrible start. The early morning hours brought a thunderstorm. Clint found Steve on the floor in the corner of the room, his hands over his ears trying to drown everything out. Clint carefully sat across from him and spoke to him. When he finally acknowledged him Clint moved closer. "Hey big guy. Let's get you into bed. I got you. You're at the farm, it's july 1st 2013. We are going horseback riding tomorrow and Nat might be home early. Let's get into bed." He heaved Steve into the bed and to Steve's surprise he climbed in with him wrapping his arms tightly around him and resting his chin on his shoulder.

"You...should be with Laura" he croaked.Clint only held him tighter. "She and I have an understanding. You aren't the only one who's needed a thunder buddy." Steve relaxed a little in his hold. "I'm being a child. I know it's thunder. I know….." he gasped as he tried to hold back more tears. "Hey, yes you know it's thunder but sometimes our brain is slow on the uptake and misses a step. It's totally fine to be upset. I told you hundreds if not thousands of people not just soldiers have these same triggers. You are not a child and if anyone tells you that you are either you sock 'em in the mouth or tell me and I'll do it." Steve chuckled "I will remember that but I don't think Pepper wants the Pr issues that come from me punching someone."  
"Guess that means I gotta do it then cuz no one really knows who the hell I am."

Clint stayed with him the rest of the night protectively wrapped around him as if he could make the thunder go away. Steve woke up just before sunrise and carefully nudged him. They both got up without a word and began to get the day moving.as Steve fixed the bed he found a small ragged stuffed cat by his pillow and picked it up. Clint spotted it and smiled. 

"Looks like the kids slipped in here sometime in the night. Lila did that for Nat a few years ago and for me last year. Nat has a fish, I have a unicorn. I have to say though you must be extra special because you have Kip. That's one she is very particular about so take care of him." He looked up from the cat. "I cant take her toy." Clint shook his head. "Not hers anymore. When she gives you a friend while you are having a bad night it is the unspoken rule that you keep it. That way she knows you are ok."

Steve sat holding the toy in his hands. It was clearly well loved and well cared for. He remembered a bear he had that was in similar condition. Sadly it was lost when he was sick because they had to destroy items to prevent the spread of disease. When he sat down at the breakfast table he smiled at Lila. "Thanks for the friend." She nodded and didn't say anything about it. Once finished the kids excitedly waited as they packed up the car to go horseback riding for the day. Steve still wasn't sure how that was going to go but Clint seemed determined to get him on a horse.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading kudos and comments appreciated


End file.
